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Thoughts About Fear on World Cancer Day





If you live in America, chances are you‘ve heard of this mystical thing called the Enneagram. Always a hot topic in our house, especially this week because my husband bought a book by

Christopher L. Heuertz called The Sacred Enneagram. As he read, he took mental notes about the types in our family, our core strengths, specifically. For instance, an Ennegram Seven, called The Enthusiast, someone with an insatiable hunger for the banquet of life, is leaning into their true selves when they practice restraint and contentment. I am a full-on Enneagram Six, also called the Loyalist. Safety and security are my siren songs, but courage is the strength I’ve been endowed with. I spent most of my early life dominated by fear, but I can see now how I met the worst of those with a face of flint. Not because I am a hero; because there was no other way. Two cancer diagnoses are not my idea of safety and security. Endless blood draws, infusions, biopsies, invasive imaging ... modern medicine can make you feel like a character in a science fiction creep show if you let your imagination take hold.


But, no matter where we fall on the rainbow wheel of the Enneagram, fear is universally paralyzing. I fantasize about having nerves of steel until I actually need them! Not to mention, the whole of 2020 felt like a carnival ride of existential terror that we couldn’t get off. We all walk with varying specters of fear in this time.


Fear is going to be there, always, like the shadow-person that can only be seen when I’m not looking straight at it. Sometimes like an otherwordly messenger on a mission, like the last ghost for Ebeneezer Scrooge—a guide. So, it’s no use pretending the fear spectres aren’t there—but you can control how they affect your daily decisions, and ultimately the trajectory of your life. Notice them; then, get back the business of the day: fighting for the common good, resting, talking with those we love, marveling at the natural world, kissing a child on the head. On World Cancer Day, I will speak to my fears, “I see you there, I know who you are, thank you for the warning and your guidance. I’ll take it from here.“




PS: DON'T FORGET TO NOMINATE A CANCER WARRIOR BY MIDNIGHT! Send a direct message through Instagram or Facebook, and we'll enter their name in a drawing to win an LG Easy Box!



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